Blended Family Boundary Dynamics & Interpersonal Communication Navigator

Fictional scenarios and optional reflection prompts; no validated family assessment

Add Person:
Tension Heatmap Legend
Lower assigned tension (<35)
Middle assigned tension (35–65)
Higher assigned tension (>65)
* Drag changes layout; assigned tensions stay unchanged.
Illustrative Tension Index
78 / 100
Largest Assigned Tension Sum
Todd (Ex-Spouse)
Illustration Flag: High

Active Edge Tensions & Boundaries Click edge in graph to focus

Optional Communication Reflection Brief

Auto-Updated
Primary Operational Rule Zero Triangulation

Parent (Kandi) is strictly excluded as a communication relay between Todd and Riley.

Step-Boundary Protocol

Direct adult-to-adult communication on neutral non-family topics. Low frequency, event-driven pathways.

Optional Draft Script
"Todd, I respect our past relationship, but going forward, please contact me directly regarding personal matters rather than passing messages through my mother."

Use a family map to ask better questions

Which communication choices are being illustrated, and which facts are still missing?

This fictional three-person map lets you change assigned tension values and compare draft conversation prompts. Start with a specific issue, who needs the information, and whether each person wants and can safely use the proposed channel. The colored links are your inputs, not observations of a real family.

The index, colors and threshold labels are authored illustrations, not assessments of stability, abuse, custody, relationship health or triangulation. These fictional names and scenarios do not report facts about people with those names. A low score cannot determine safety or require contact.

Try a worked example

The default tensions are 70, 65 and 20. Their average is 155 / 3 = 51.67; the authored formula rounds 100 − 0.85 × 51.67 to 56. Changing the first tension to 50 gives an average of 45 and an index of 62. This six-point change describes arithmetic, not an improvement proven in a family.

Separate a child’s role from an adult’s choices

The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents to keep children out of disputes and avoid using them to carry messages. Its guidance concerns children after separation; it does not establish that an adult stepchild must speak directly with an ex-stepparent. Adults can choose boundaries and channels that fit their circumstances. AAP: Helping children adjust to separation

What the controls actually change

Only tension values affect the index: rounded 100 minus 0.85 times the mean, limited to 5–98. The peak node has the largest sum of its incident tensions, so adding relationships can change that label. Rigidity and frequency are saved as annotations but do not enter the index or scripts. Dragging a node changes its position and recalculates the same arithmetic; it does not change tension.

The illustration flag uses only the Kandi–Todd and Todd–Riley tensions. It displays Critical when they exceed 60 and 50 respectively, Moderate when the first exceeds 40 otherwise, and Minimal otherwise. These arbitrary thresholds do not detect a communication relay or evaluate real-world risk.

Turn a script into a question, not a requirement

Before using a prompt, ask: What topic needs discussing? Who consents to contact? Which channel is safe and appropriate? A useful draft could specify one topic and a preferred channel without making someone else responsible for managing the relationship. The templates switch at assigned tensions of 35 and 60; they are not individualized professional recommendations.

When abuse, threats or coercive control are involved, ordinary direct-contact advice may be unsuitable. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides personalized safety-planning resources. Consult support appropriate to the situation rather than treating a slider label as a safety decision. National Domestic Violence Hotline: Safety planning

Read the export as a scenario record

The JSON saves the current index, flag, prompts and edge settings. It is a reflection brief, not a binding agreement or clinical or legal evaluation. The original export does not include complete person records or graph positions, so it cannot reconstruct the entire map. Avoid putting sensitive identifying details into a file you may share.

Sources and further reading
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