Recent News Dispatch (@GameSpot): "Bloodborne May Not Be Getting A Sequel Or Remaster, But How About An Umbrella?"
Design Absurd Tie-In Tier 1 Prototype
Quick Load:
Fan Copium Index
98 / 100
"Terminal Copium: Purchasing an umbrella to feel something in 30 frames per second."
Product card export generated successfully!
Official Packaging Spec FromSoft Approved™ (Satirical)
BLOOD
Official Licensed Distraction
Hunter's Dream Umbrella
Accessories & Weather Defiance
"Keeps the blood rain off while you wait in vain for 60fps."
Specifications: 100% Water & Blood Repellent Silk, Carved Messenger Handle, Heavy Insight Coating.
Notice: Will not accelerate FromSoftware PC/PS5 remaster development by even one second.
Why does this exist? Fans have petitioned for a Bloodborne sequel, remake, PC port, or 60fps patch for over a decade. GameSpot recently noted official tie-in umbrellas hitting retail instead. This generator simulates the expanding empire of merch that fills the void.
Hunter's Dream Fountain & Merch Dump
Matter.js Rigid Body Physics Toy: Toss custom merchandise into the sacred waters of Yharnam.
Items in pool: 1
Drag items with mouse or finger to fling them into the basin
Physical restitution: 0.75 (Bouncy Copium)